Don't Leave Me Now
by jaimeekate
Summary: Toby's death sends Happy spiraling, but what she doesn't know will shock her even more. (Scorpion Sherlock fic for my ladies in the Quintis chat!)


**I do not own Scorpion or any of the characters! These all belong to CBS! And the one song vaguely mentioned is **_**You Shook Me All Night Long**_** by ACDC. **

Happy screamed at the sight of Toby's bloody, disheveled body. She fell to her knees beside his beaten figure and reached for his hands. There was blood spilling from all parts of him, and she could tell that he was losing too much. She had meant to feel for a pulse, but instead just held his hands in hers as she screamed and cried. She didn't know how to help him. She felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist and drag her away. Tears gushed down her face and she let out bursts of hysterical sobs as she screamed Toby's name. He was quickly surrounded by the paramedics and she was still being pulled away from him. She kicked and flailed her arms as she attempted to free herself.

"No, Happy. He's gone. He's gone, Happy." Cabe's voice pierced her ear as he tightened her grip. She continued in her fit of rage and sobs, crying out to anyone that would listen. She screamed a single word, _no_, into the skies over and over again. If there was ever a time to start believing in God, it was now, as she prayed and begged for this to be just a terrible nightmare.

"There's nothing we can do now, Happy. Only pray." Cabe said as he practically carried her to the van. Walter stood tall, trying to keep his composure, but with a definite look of sorrow in his eyes. He avoided looking at Happy, who had given up her fight and was now just sobbing. Paige was leaning into Walter, her eyes pouring tears as she buried her face in his shirt. He held her gingerly, watching the paramedics in the distance. Sylvester was crying too, but no sound came from him. He sat in the van, staring out the window, not facing the scene. When Cabe reached them, Happy in tow, he gave a sad nod to Walter and the team piled into the car.

The drive over was silent. Happy kept her eyes closed and her head back, tears still escaping. There were no words to describe the pain that any of them were feeling, and nothing anyone could say to the others. The emptiness was unbearable. There was so much hallow space, normally filled by a smirking shrink in a Fedora.

Only Walter and Cabe were allowed inside to speak with the doctors who had been operating on Toby. Happy, Sylvester, and Paige had to wait in the waiting room for any news. Happy sat silent, thinking only of Toby's cold hands in hers, how she found no pulse, how much blood he had lost. Eventually, she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and buried her head. It muffled her cries only slightly.

When Cabe and Walter stepped back into the waiting room, Paige jumped up quickly, searching their faces for clues. They both wore solemn frowns. Happy uncurled herself and quickly made her way to them.

"Where is he? I have to see him." she demanded. Walter shook his head slightly, pain in his eyes. Happy's face turned to disbelief and she pushed passed them.

"No…" she muttered as she powered down the hallway to room 412, where she had seen Walter and Cabe walk into earlier. As she turned the corner into the room, her pained expression fell to one of shock and then to despair. There was no Toby. Only blood soaked sheets and various blinking machines reading numbers that she did care about. A few nurses were left behind, one cleaning the mess while the other scribbled on a clipboard.

"Time of departure?" asked one nurse.

"11:26 pm."

Once at the garage, Happy immediately went to her tools. But she stopped instantly at the sight of them. Suddenly she was disgusted with them. She was angry with them. In one quick sweep of her arms she pushed everything off her desk. The metal and tools crashed to the ground and the team turned to Happy at the sound. She stood shaking and crying, all of her tools spread on floor. She sunk to the floor, too, suddenly unable to hold herself up. She anger and the sadness came in waves, one exchanging for the other. When her anger rose up, she would pick up the nearest tool and chuck it at the wall with all the force she had. Then a powerful sadness flooded her and all she could do was cry. The others could do nothing for her. She was angry at her tools, things that she used to find solace and comfort in. Until today, they had never let her down. But now they were useless. Mere obsolete objects, meaning nothing. They could not fix what was broken in Happy. They could not fix Toby.

Paige had wrapped Happy in a tight embrace, and Happy didn't have the energy to push her away.

"It'll be ok…we'll get through this." Paige whispered, her voice shaking through her own tears. Paige did not expect Happy to reply. She didn't know what the shattered mechanic would do.

But Happy shook her head, catching her breath for a moment before whispering, "I will never be ok again."

Somehow Happy ended up on the coach in the garage. She didn't remember falling asleep and she felt disoriented as she sat up, as if she was coming out of long coma. The garage was empty and it made Happy extremely uncomfortable. There was an eerie air to the place, like all the life had been sucked out. As her brain registered the situation, she remembered all the events of the night before. The pain and the sadness struck her again when she realized that this was not a dream and Toby was really gone forever. Dead.

_ They had run through the plan many times before they left the garage. It was going to be risky, they all knew that. In dealing with gang leaders smuggling 1500 pounds of heroin, there was bound to be danger involved. But still, they trusted Walter and his plans. They had been in plenty of dangerous situations before. Happy would only need to be inside the building long enough to download the file-retrieving software, so Toby and Paige would create a distraction out front, giving her time to sneak into the building and up the stairs to the office. After stalling for ten minutes, Paige would go back to the van, while Toby would go around the ally behind the back and move the ladder to the window so Happy could climb down. _

_ It was simple enough, and everything went smoothly until the final step. When Happy went to release the locking latch on the window, a terrible, screeching alarm sounded through the building. Instantly, Toby went for the door. _

_ "__Happy you've gotta get out of there!" he cried from below as his hand went to the door. _

_ "__No, Toby! Don't!" Happy screamed back from the window above. She knew that Toby had gone to the door, in hopes of alerting the gang leaders inside that the intrusion came from the ally and not from the window upstairs, where she was. Toby's plan worked. The alert was still sounding, but the gang members weren't coming up the stairs. They were pushing their way through the back door into the ally. Happy saw the gang approach Toby with clubs, knives, and handguns. She held back a scream and raced down the stairs. _

_ "__Happy! We have backup!" Walter's voice rang through her earpiece. She was four floors up, but bounding down the stairs two at a time. _

_ "__We need medics! Toby's in trouble!" she called back. She wasn't sure what she was going to do when she reached the gang. As tough as she was, she knew she couldn't win against them in a fight, at least not all at once. As she reached the bottom level, she heard police sirens nearby. _

_ "__It's the cops! Go! Go!" she heard a distant, deep voice cry. She whipped around the corner of the building, not knowing what she would find, not wanting to think about what she would see. _

_ Walter, Paige, Cabe, and Sylvester heard her bloodcurdling scream from across the street. _

Happy lied there on the couch for a long time. Maybe five minutes, maybe five hours, maybe five years. She didn't know. She couldn't bring herself to care about the time. Every moment without Toby was a meaningless one. A moment that didn't deserve to exist. The world was nothing without him. She could feel tears pressing against her eyes again. _She should have checked the window for alarms, _she thought as she pulled a blanket over herself. _Of course those windows had alarms._

Happy did not believe she would ever get up or the tears would ever stop coming. She thought of Toby's smile. When he smiled, she felt that everything was right in the world. She thought of his laugh and of his terrible flirting that had secretly worked every time on her. She thought of what it felt like to kiss him — like time stopped and nothing bad existed. Like the universe was falling into place. Like all the broken pieces of the world were somehow coming together, molding themselves, healing themselves. How she desperately wanted to kiss him again. She wanted to taste him again. He had tasted like coffee and smelled like cologne. She wanted to hold him, to run her fingers through his hair and down his chest and across his arms and lock themselves in his fingers. She thought about how Toby looked at her. He looked at like she was the only thing that had ever or would matter to him. She thought about how she was beginning to look at him that way.

But now Toby would never look at her again. Ever. In any way. At such a thought, the tears poured from Happy's eyes and she crashed back down into couch, sobbing again.

Eventually Happy had decided that she couldn't stay there. It was clear that the rest of the team wasn't coming in today, and the silence was beginning to haunt her. She could hear Toby's laugh in her ears and the obnoxious voice he used to sing classic rock songs at the top of his lungs, always nodding his head to Happy as sang the lyrics.

"_She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean, she was the best damn woman that I__'__d ever seen,__" _He would croon as he gave Happy a flirtatious wink that she always pretended to hate. She could picture that ridiculous wink so clearly. She remembered his sparkling eyes and how he never tried to hid the emotion him. He projected his soul through them.

Happy had to leave the garage. There was too much of him there. She picked up her keys off her desk and pushed through the door. She didn't know where she wanted to go, but anywhere would do. She decided that she would drive until she was out of gas, and then she would walk until she couldn't feel her legs. She wanted her mind and her heart numb. She the tears come again as she flew down the LA freeway. _This _was why she didn't get attached to people. They always leave her in the end.

Walter, Paige, Slyvester, and Cabe raced into the garage. Walter pushed open the door with so much force that Paige thought the hinges would snap.

"Happy! Happy we —," Walter called into the empty garage. He stopped short when he saw that the mechanic was nowhere to be found. He felt Paige's hand to come to rest at on his shoulder.

"I'll try her cell," said Slyvester. Moments later, they heard the soft chiming and vibrations of a cell phone coming from Happy's desk. Walter's face fell as he picked it up and turned it over in his hand. He noticed her keys were gone.

"No Happy…" he muttered under his breath. He felt frustration rise up inside him. He had to get to her, to tell her…

"Don't worry. We'll find her." Said Paige gently. But Walter knew Happy. He knew that they would not find Happy if she did not want to be found. But he also knew that Happy had repaired him in the past, and now he had the chance to heal her. He would have to find her. He slammed his fist on the table and went to his computer, where his fingers began flying across the keyboard.

"No. _We_ aren't, but he will."

The sun was beginning to set when Happy heard a horrid grinding sound coming from the hood of her car. She cursed under breath and pulled over to the corner of the street underneath a street lamp. She popped hood and went to examine the damage. Her truck wasn't used to the millage. There was smoke coming from the engine and she was silently thankful for the job to occupy her mind. She went around to the back of her trunk in search of her toolbox, but let out an exasperated grunt when she remember that three days earlier, Toby had commented on how old and rusted some of them were, so he took the box from the back of the truck, with the intention of replacing it with a newer model set. Happy slammed the hood of the truck down and slumped against it. She didn't really know where she was, only that she was a day's worth of driving north of L.A. It was an empty side road that she found herself on. It was nearly dark now and the street lamp above her clicked on. Sighing, she went and sat beneath it. She was crying again. She had never cried this much in her entire life, but now it was all coming out at once. Here she was in silence again. She looked up into the open sky and shook her head.

"You know, Toby, it is so like _you _to go and get yourself killed right when I was starting to really care." She said into the air. Though it was completely irrational, she kept the words flowing.

"Of all the times to die, Toby! You chose to wait until I was so in love with you, but then you go before I even get the chance to say it." Her words were mixed with hysterical sobs. "And don't give me that crap about moving on and how you want me to be happy! Because I _can__'__t_ be happy now." She brought her hands to her face and tried to wipe away the tears, but to no real avail.

"I can't be me anymore." She let her hands fall to her sides. "I thought you would be different. I thought you wouldn't leave me! I know I pushed you away sometimes, because I was scared, but now I don't know what I'm going to do without you." She had lowered her voice to a whisper, and she hugged her knees again as the wind picked up and sent a chill through her body. Through the quiet night breeze, Happy heard footsteps. Her head shot up and she lifted herself off the ground. Her body tensed as she looked around, prepared to defend herself. The street was dark except for the soft light of the lamp above Happy. The footsteps grew louder, closer. Happy drew a sharp intake a breath as a smooth voice reached her.

"Oh, Happy. You really didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?"

Happy felt her heart stop. She lost the ability to breathe. She forgot how to work all of her muscles as Toby's face (though still battered) stepped into the light. Happy wanted to scream but nothing in her worked. She willed herself to make a sound.

"Oh my god…but you're…"

Toby shook his head slightly, moving closer to her. "No, I'm not. I'm alive."

Happy had a million things she wanted to say to him, to _scream_ at him, but all she could do in that moment was lunge at him, wrapping her hands around his neck and locking him in passionate kiss. She heard Toby make a small pained sound, but he kissed her back and held on to her tightly. When she pulled away, he kept her in his grasp. Her hands cupped his cheeks and she looked deep into his eyes, making sure it was really him. Her hands slid down his face and then his chest. Though her touch was soft, he grimaced.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry." She said pulling her hands away quickly. He was grinning at her with that signature smile, a laugh traced across his face. Suddenly, she felt anger crash over her. She stepped back and looked him up and down.

"Wait…_how_ could you let me think you were dead?! You asshole!" She sent curses flying at him as she paced around and shouted at the top of her lungs.

"These past 48 hours were the worst in my entire life! Worse than all those crappy foster homes combined! Where have you been? Why didn't I know you were alive?" She demanded. Toby was honestly frightened of her and made a downward motion with his hands, signing for her to calm down.

"Ok, ok. I know you're mad. You have every right to be mad. The thing is, _I _didn't even know I was alive! One minute I was being beaten to a pulp by those gang members, the next minute I'm waking up in medical center in some government military base near Fresno. I guess Cabe made a call."

Happy stopped pacing and looked at him. "Did Walter and Cabe know you were alive?"

"I guess so. They had to make the call to have me moved. But I was in really bad shape when they had me flown in. Like I said, I don't remember a thing. But at the base, they replaced all the blood I lost and stitched me up."

Happy frowned. "_They didn__'__t tell me?__"_

"They said they tried to, but you bolted. I got a call from them this morning saying that you ran away. Walter tracked your truck, and told me to come find you."

She looked into his eyes again. She shook her slightly. "But…your pulse…I checked it myself…"

"Ah, well. Ancient Tibetan meditation technique. It slows down your heartbeat to near-death rates in order to conserve energy. It temporarily shuts down non-vital parts of the body so the blood can stay concentrated in important areas." Toby explained. Happy looked at him in awe. There was still so much to say, so many questions, but none of it mattered to her now. What mattered was that Toby was alive and here with her. She moved to kiss him again. He happily met her lips and they stayed like that, intertwined and embracing each other with equal parts force and tenderness, for a long time. Neither of them knew how long. As far as they were concerned, time and the world around them fell away altogether. When finally Happy broke the kiss and rested her head gingerly on his chest, careful of his wounds, Toby gave a soft laugh.

"I knew you loved me, Happy."

"Shut up," she said into his chest. He tightened his grip around her waist.

"Don't worry. I love you too."

"You're not allowed to leave me, got it?"

"Wouldn't dream of it."


End file.
